AKA How to Pass the “Are You Kidding Me?” Test

I love champagne.

I mean, ooh, I love champagne. The sexy crashing sound as it hits the glass; the musty, bready aroma of the good stuff; the omniscient, Zelda-Fitzgerald-feeling from a single, perfect glass.* Heck, I even love how you can take nearly-mediocre stuff and pour it with Guinness and get Irish heaven (otherwise known as a Black Velvet).

So when my local mega-liquor-store sends me their weekly e-newsletter with a $5 off coupon for champagne, I hit print and get ready to go, now. Boy, do they know me, I’m whistling.

On the way out the door, the fine print catches my eye: any purchase over $100.

No champers for this author.

Folks, this is 5%. Not even tricky math; I’m not drinking yet. That is an incentive to nobody.

By the time I drive there and back, the five bucks is gone one way or another. At $5 off my usual $35 bottle, this still seemed like a good reason to throw some CO2 into the air. At $5 off $100? I’ll sit back down, because I’m going to need the other $65 for filling up the tank. I got half a good Experience out of this, which is worse than none at all.

Did this pass the “Are you kidding me?” test with anyone at corporate besides the person who wrote it? Why bother?

Tip: When you offer an incentive, you are looking to overcome a resistance your customer has to purchasing from you. Do a little research, use a little common sense. Know how high the barrier is, so your incentive can overcome it. Put a cork in the fine print.

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson


* “Champagne’s a heavy mist before my eyes,” says Jimmy Stewart’s character, Macaulay Connor, in The Philadelphia Story. Mmm.


Did you get a chance to read Thursday’s article? I’m surprised to be saying this: no one has found the post where I make a reference to my age yet. There’s a prize involved for you, and five days left to find it! Why not click here to read the rules, and take a Whack at it?