Or, Why I Carry a Pen and Paper, Even on a Date*
¿Habla Español?
I speak Spanish. Pretty fluently. Not natively, but I get along in a rusty kind of a way. Though my speech is a bit slow, the hearing works just fine, thanks.
Many of you are also bilingual (though not necessarily in Spanish), and you may be asking,
“What does this have to do with Customer Experience, Kelly?”
I may have forgotten to mention I don’t look Spanish, mainly due to the fact that I’m not. (Note author photo, at left. Nice Irish Experience Designer. Not Irish Experiences, mind you… well, yeah. We can do that.)
*cue story music, of the soft, lush, romantic type*
So I’m out on a date recently at a lovely Philadelphia restaurant. The type where you can not get “Beringer by the glass,” people, so don’t even bother to ask. Lucky me, it’s be-a-grownup-night and I’m doing just that.
My waitress, she speaks Spanish. I know this, because every time either of two other servers go by, they speak to her as she goes about her business. In Spanish. About various things including my date’s tie (good), my shoes (they disapprove), anyone who walks in to sit at the bar (dateable and not dateable and I’m not going to say any more about that subject), what’s going on in the kitchen (not all good), and their mothers.
You think I’m making this up but I’m not.
All in hushed tones. Not actually while speaking to us at the table. Very discreet if your hearing is impaired, or maybe it’s background noise if you don’t speak the language.
Note to readers: We will NOT discuss use of English generally (nor the favored language of your country/province) in the comments, as that is not the subject of this post. We will discuss the use of discretion.
Points on Language: Yours, Mine, and Foul
If these servers spoke English only, they would not have been having such vivid snippets of conversation right next to my table. If they suspected I understood most every word they said except some which I believe were foul language, ditto. So why did I have to listen to all this during my nice night out?
Because they made a judgment about our looks (and probably our accents, too), and decided the two of us did not require curbing their tongues, no matter how much we paid for our meals.
Point one: Do not let your staff gossip around customers in any language. Not even Klingon, because you never know. Seriously, gossip is just not cool.
Point two: Using your prejudices to guess whether I can understand you, at work or elsewhere in your life, is probably a bad idea. Friends used to love sitting with me on subway rides to “overhear” people who assumed no one else could understand them. My Mom thinks it’s something like a party trick. I’m sure at a fast food restaurant or a convenience store you may have experienced folks who took one look at you and continued their conversation, having decided you did not understand them. It’s not always so.
Point three: Lest you think this is about some other guy, English-speaking U.S. residents notoriously do this same thing when on holiday in other lands, only to have it blow up in their faces; many popular tourist destinations have large numbers of citizens who can speak English. If you think that doesn’t affect Customer Experience, since you’re the customer, think how annoyed the shopkeeper is with you. Your experience is going to be changed, by your own behavior.
No matter who you are or where, if you want a discreet, private conversation, have it privately. That’s discretion. Anything else is rude.
By the way, I have had staff wait on me while having their annoying conversations in English, without missing a beat to “help” me. Not in a nice restaurant, but in plenty of shops. This is not only about language.
However, when they know that we all know what’s being said, it’s not said about me, or my date, or the relative merits of the guy who just walked in versus last Friday’s hottie.
Point four: They were nice shoes. :)
You’d never let your staff or coworkers do this, so…. Have you ever had to listen in on an indiscreet conversation while shopping or dining? What did you do?
Grow and be well,
Kelly Erickson
*Because you never know when your next post will appear!
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29 May 2008, 8:26 am
I’ve heard so many stories about this! Some funny ones too. But I think on a professional level you raise a very good point. Not only is gossip a turn-off, but it also shows a client or potential customer that your confidentiality is not to be trusted. Great post!
PS. If your shoes were anything like the ones in your avatar, I’m sure they were fabulous!
29 May 2008, 9:28 am
@Kelly
You get a lot of this in Quebec, too. But with English/French.
Montreal and Quebec City are great tourist areas, and they’re usually pretty good. But depending on where you go, you might get an attitude from the staff.
I was in a restaurant once, and the waitress was towards the end of her shift. She bitched about me to her manager, and they both started arguing right in front of me, in French, acting like I wasn’t even there.
Of course, I’m bilingual and I perfectly understood everything. I just walked out.
Though I wish I had stuck around to have given them both a piece of my mind…in FRENCH!
29 May 2008, 11:33 am
Ditto Friar’s comments because I live in Montreal but, as you point out, Kelly, this happens everywhere and in every language.
Ever hear adults who should know better talk about you or others in Portuguese on the city bus? What about in Hausa (birthday party) or Creole (hospital food service)?
Ever reply? It’s funny to flip the script regardless of language.
In my wee world, that goes for every situation which means I would have called the establishment’s manager over to the table as well as the wait staff and explained the situation succinctly before I paid the bill and left…never to return.
Why stay or see how the situation will be remedied (if at all because that scenario speaks to organizational compliance…it’s not the first time they’re doing that and it’s not like management doesn’t know they’re speaking Spanish – America’s unofficial 2nd language – in front of clients)?
It’s not my issue. Let’s posit that it’s not your issue either ‘cuz I know you were likely wearing some bangin’ shoes!
It is, however, a good issue to bring up here because it’s all about the full spectrum of customer experience.
Thanks for the realization and letting me rant (those ladies on the bus got my ire and that was, like, 15 years ago)!
29 May 2008, 1:45 pm
Steph,
I was more amused than anything by the whole affair. They weren’t meaning any harm, just being idiots and bringing down the reputation of a very nice place. (I may even have been calmed by knowing that I could see a post coming out of it.)
Thanks for the compliment about my shoes. I’m fond of all of my shoes—who gives up that kind of money if you don’t think they rock?
Friar,
Yes, I suspect the French/English issue in Québec may even be more troublesome than Spanish and various other languages in the U.S. melting pot.
Arguing right in front of you is hideous in any language, though. I’m glad you walked out.
Natasha,
I have occasionally spoken out in Spanish, but that’s likely to flare tempers (like peeking in on any moment when someone thinks they’re alone, which is kind of what people think when they’re talking around you like this), so I save that for when it’s really needed.
What they guessed was a language barrier changed what they were willing to say, which added to the “comedy” somewhat. I didn’t really care that they were in part talking about us.
It was the fact of yakking away while performing a high-touch service job that bugged me—that’s the issue in any language.
I could have spoken to the management, or my friend could have, but why ruin a date with fussing? Afterward, I thought about that, but I’m sure either of us would have thought less of the other for making a scene.
Thanks for ranting! I’m interested to hear how you and others have dealt with it when it’s come up, because it is definitely not an isolated event. Customer service is a huge part of Customer Experience, and something so small is so easily fixed!
Regards,
Kelly
29 May 2008, 3:47 pm
Great illustration of discretion and gossip. Anyone remember that SEINFELD episode about Elaine and the Korean Manicurists? EXACTLY!
Another place to be discreet is on the street. Visiting NYC from LA (as I do yearly) I was reminded by a colleague that our business conversation on the street was going directly into the ears of the people walking in front of us. That’s not possible in LA (not a lot of walking!), and in a big city we often isolate ourselves from the crowd… forgetting that we CAN be heard. We use generic terms when speaking about clients too, since they’re well-known.
The worse modern example of the lack of personal or professional discretion is the ubiquitous one-sided-cell-conversations we are subjected to. I start to reply to the rude-talker in the grocery aisle: “Warts? Really? Try a good soak in…” YEESH!
29 May 2008, 6:34 pm
GirlPie,
Warts! LOL!
I can not count the number of times when I have wanted to give someone a piece of my mind regarding cell-phone discussions in restaurants, etc…. made worse now by those headsets, which if you are not on the correct side of the talker, make him or her appear insane. In NYC you can not tell the difference without walking around someone.
In New York, though it is easy to be overheard, it’s worth remembering for the casual visitor that no one cares. Hence they are not listening, even when they are so close they can hear both sides of your phone conversation. Which is often.
Until later,
Kelly
29 May 2008, 7:20 pm
They are wrong for that! That’s all I can say. And I am sure your shoes were fabulous.
Seriously , the back of the house and staff are not to detract from the front of the house experience…unless it’s Italian, or Greek..then plate smashing is even okay…I would have been real tempted to say something.
30 May 2008, 6:44 am
Janice,
Oh, yeah, tempted. I have a really long fuse, though.
You know, thinking of plate-smashing… noise levels are definitely relative in the Experience of a place… even rudeness is probably relative. There’d be a lot of sway in what attitude I’d accept at a convenience store or a diner (I didn’t say I’d like it, just accept it), but not much at a department store or a finer restaurant.
Still, talking with other staff about personal matters while working is always rude no matter where you work.
Thanks for defending the shoes sight unseen.
Regards,
Kelly
30 May 2008, 8:12 am
Kelly,
Interesting topic!
Here’s one for you. I read lips. Not perfectly, but due to poor hearing, I am better at it than most and I have been in situations where people are talking about others behind their backs right in front of them,not too discretly, and I can see each word they are saying. It’s embarrasing. Usualy I just turn away. Once or twice it has come in very handy however for reasons I won’t go into!
30 May 2008, 2:42 pm
Wendi,
Why does that sound like fun to me? He he.
I used to live in a city with a large population of hearing-impaired people (big school there which attracted folks), and if Girl Pie thinks conversations in NYC should be guarded… there even putting a little distance between me and someone else still left me wondering whether I was being “listened” to.
I’m sure no one cared what I was saying there any more than they do in NYC, but once in a while, I’d get a bit sensitive.
Thanks for your comment!
Regards,
Kelly
30 May 2008, 3:13 pm
Oooo, good story. And shame on them. Would love to have been a bug on the wall if you had mumbled “I can’t believe the nerve of some people…” in Spanish on the way out.
The rudeness of carrying on a conversation while serving, ringing up, whatevah runs both ways.
If I’m chatting my way through a store (yes, I’m one of THOSE people, though I try to be quiet about it), I always get off the phone before I reach the register.
It’s just as rude for me to talk to my friends while being helped as it is for them to talk to their friends while helping!
30 May 2008, 3:30 pm
Crystal,
You’re not too far away, maybe you’ve seen these:
Some stores/restaurants around here have signs telling you to hang up before they’ll ring up.
It makes me feel chastised for something I would never do, which is bad for their Customer Experience, but it must be an (over-) reaction to rotten apples who might spoil the barrel. Too bad all around.
If I ever mumble, you know I’ll write it here at MCE so you’ll feel like a bug on the wall.
Until later,
Kelly
30 May 2008, 4:58 pm
That’s it. I’m learning Spanish TO-MORROW.
30 May 2008, 6:05 pm
Cam,
LOL!
Thank you… I think.
It is well worth it, generally, besides coming in handy when wondering how your tie looks, or how you’re doing as you enter the bar. Go for it.
Your series this week is SO awesome, by the way. Incredible inspiration.
Everybody else: go check out Chaos Scenario this week, especially Some Gave All. Tissue-alert when you get to his Dad’s comment, if not before!
Regards,
Kelly