Are You Killing Your Future Sales Like These Guys Are?
1. Katherine
Me: “Good morning, how may I help you?”
Katherine: “Hello, this is Katherine, from XYZ Phone Book Company. I’m calling to make sure you received our phone books last Friday.”
“Gee, I haven’t been in for a week, I’m not sure.”
“Can I have your name?”
“Yes, it’s Kelly, but I don’t have an answer for you yet. Can you hang on?”
“Thanks and have a nice day.” *click*
I didn’t answer and that counts as good enough for her? You know that was written down as Yes, books received.
2. Ben and Doreen
Me: [Unbearably long wait for help at department-store counter, while Doreen apparently has difficulty with customer in front of me. That customer leaves unhappy, which seems to be mainly her own fault.] “Hi. Just these, thanks.”
Doreen: “Okay. Umm, sorry about that other stuff.” [Manager Ben appears from other end of counter, where he’s been doing paperwork.]
Ben: [Without a word to me, taking over cash drawer in mid-transaction; to Doreen] “If I were you, I’d run away from here. As fast as possible.”
If you’ll say that in front of a customer who’s also stood patiently through the antics of the last person, what would you say if I weren’t here?
I think I’ll run, too.
3. Zandra
Zandra: “… Thanks for using Liverpool Lizard Auto Insurance, Ms. Erickson. Is there anything else I can answer for you?
Me: “Yes. That guy who’s going to call me to get the details of the accident for your records—could you tell me whether that would be today, or in a couple of days? I’m going on vacation….”
“Sorry, that’s another department. I don’t know when he’ll get back to you.”
“Oh. Well, will I need any documentation handy to take the call? I could bring the police report and the papers from the other insurance company with me on vacation.”
“No, you won’t need anything with you. He just needs the date. It only takes a minute.”
“Thanks, Zandra, that’s all I needed to know.”
The correct answer was: you will need everything with you, and it is a very detailed interview which will last over twenty minutes and will make you late for an appointment, after repeatedly telling the gentleman (though he didn’t ask) that now is not a good time unless it can be as brief as Zandra promised, which he assures me several times it will be: “Just one more question, Ms. Erickson….”
1-2-3
Say what you mean. “Insincere Phone Book Company. I get paid to dial your number and hear a voice. Thanks.” *click*
Watch what you say. “Customers always wreck a decent day. This one could turn at any moment. Run!”
Mean what you say. “I don’t know anything about how other departments work. I’m just a cog. I’m making this up as I go along, to take some of the anxiety out of your day. The next guy may put the anxiety right back in, but you won’t get snippy with me, ‘cause I’ll be gone.”
Three quickies, with not-too-hidden lessons. Customer service is a huge part of Customer Experience.
Your company can do it better than this, right? As easy as 1-2-3.
Grow and be well,
Kelly Erickson












1 July 2008, 8:53 am
My personal favorite is silence.
You set your goods down on the counter, the person glances at you (“You shithead, what are you doing disturbing my peace? I’m not here to serve you even if you think I am.”), stuffs your goods in a bag (“Did you expect me to be gentle?”) and rings up the sale then holds out a hand. (“Pay me. Now.”)
I pay, take my bag and walk out of the store, feeling like that clerk should be fired. Builds a lovely credible reputation for the store owner, don’t you think?
1 July 2008, 10:10 am
My personal favorite? (Well, for today!) The recorded message that keeps calling my cell phone and leaving three minute voice mail messages. What is the company? I have no idea. Their message starts in the middle of a phone number, then goes on and on with vagueness about the status of my account. What account? I have no idea. I’m fairly certain they have the wrong number, and I’d call them back and tell them so, but with only half a phone number it’s a bit impossible. They’ve called 8 times since last night.
Amy’s last blog post…My Role Model, the Ostrich
1 July 2008, 3:30 pm
James,
Did I do well enough on the silence today?
I’m with you. I hate the silent treatment. It happened to me the other day at my favorite big box store, Target, where everyone is always at least cordial and usually downright chatty. It was so disturbing I went right up and told the customer service manager to look into it.
Grocery stores around here seem to have a special talent for hiring mute cashiers. I despise handing over a hundred bucks to someone who can’t be bothered to give me a hello or a look in the eye.
Amy,
I was out of town recently in an area with poor cell phone service, and I had my phone turned off for several days. When I hit civilization and turned it back on, there were 28 voicemails. Considering anyone who might have needed me knew the phone number where I was, this was peculiar, so of course I stopped to listen right away. All from the same wrong number, only one with any words at all. The rest just a bit of throat-clearing and a *click.*
So of course, I gave them your phone number.
You might want to turn the iPhone off for a little while, hehe.
Regards,
Kelly
1 July 2008, 3:35 pm
Kelly — A) You are a brat, and B) My iphone is already turned off. I keep the ringer on my phone off all the time. Seriously. Otherwise, I’d get nothing accomplished. Everyone (workwise) knows to email me if it’s an emergency. I check the voicemail once an hour during business hours. Other than that, it is email all the way. I hate the phone. Total time waster.
Amy’s last blog post…Keyword Analysis: Can’t Do Without These Gems
1 July 2008, 5:04 pm
Amy,
I’m the opposite. Email distracts me, because people abuse it. I try not to check it too much, though I’m sure I do anyway. Phone calls, people in my life usually save for important stuff, so that gets my attention.
Brat? All too true. As long as I’m a somewhat funny brat, that’s okay with me.
Later,
Kelly
1 July 2008, 5:11 pm
Brat is a term of endearment in my household. (And yes, you are funny.)
Amy’s last blog post…Keyword Analysis: Can’t Do Without These Gems
1 July 2008, 5:26 pm
Oh, yes, I took it that way. Not everything needs an emoticon to get across. Well, at least not from one sarcastic being to another.
1 July 2008, 5:27 pm
James, Help! I’m being swallowed up by CommentLuv!
1 July 2008, 5:29 pm
Oops, I meant by subscribe-to-comments. Goofball me.