Or Not…
Why bother going beyond your comfort zone for that outside Perspective?
We hear what we want to hear, so the saying goes. Oh, yes, I’m guilty of it sometimes, too. I know how good it feels to be surrounded by Yes men.
So what’s the easiest way to accomplish that?
Ask those you “want” to ask.
Not those whom a little annoying voice in your head says, “You should ask them.” They’re just naysayers, you say back to the annoying voice.
Only consult with the ones you think it will be fun to ask.
The ones you want to ask, will say exactly what you wanted to hear. Then you don’t even have to worry about sticking your fingers in your ears and saying, “Nah, nah, I can’t heeee-ar you!”
Got that?
Grow and be well,
Kelly Erickson
P.S. Tip of the Week is early this week, so I can be around today to chat in the comments. The kid and I are off tomorrow to the mountains on the lovely New York/Vermont border, for a little family time through Thanksgiving.
In case you were considering rending your garments if you don’t hear from MCE for a few days, I’m letting you know: I have not a thing pre-posted, and I haven’t decided whether I’m even going to write—for a whole doggone week! (I have a feeling I won’t be able to resist.) Until later…
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21 November 2008, 8:03 am
Have a fantastic time! And try, I dare you, to not write for a week. It might actually feel really good. We’ll still be here when you get back. How could we resist those sexy legs?
PS. Great tip. That way we hear what we *need* to hear.
steph’s last blog post…Worker Bee
21 November 2008, 8:42 am
Steph,
Nobody likes it, but it’s necessary, eh?
I’ll either write seventeen posts for December, or I’ll be back on Monday anyway, irresistibly pulled to MCE… I’m winging it. (How un-Capricorn!) No way I won’t write at all. That’s a lifetime addiction that blogging simply allowed me an outlet for.
Regards,
Kelly
21 November 2008, 8:49 am
Kelly,
I have just discovered your blog through the recommendation of Karen Swim on her Words For Hire blog.
Karen obviously thinks very highly of you as she gave you a wonderful commendation.
I have never been a business owner myself. However, I could imagine that the opinions of ‘yes’ people could be extremely tempting.
In larger firms, one key source for ideas for improvement comes from the complaints department. is to monitor the type. First of all, this department should be given a more positive name and identity. But second, complaints are opportunities in disguise, and firms should seek proactive measures to identify strategies for improvement in the areas to which the complaint relates.
Contrary to how it might sound, listening to those grumbling naysayers can be a very rewarding experience in the long run.
Andrew’s last blog post…Guest post from Brad Shorr
21 November 2008, 10:02 am
The best are the “Yes, but…” men (and women). There is always something positive to say, and as Carnegie says, always preface criticism with praise.
In university, I took a creative writing course. In itself, it was crap — the prof was a self-indulging poet who didn’t really quite realize that being a star of the vanity presses was different from other forms of publishing. Of course during the poetry part of the class, it was our job to study his poetry and tell him why it worked so well…
Anyway, what I did take from that class was how to take criticism while workshopping our own work. And I’m glad for that — I think this is one of the most difficult things for creative types to do. People see their “art” (whatever form that may come) as their children. But then I’ve always brought my children up to be independent, so perhaps that helps.
Now when a client says: “I don’t like this”, I don’t take it personally.
And when someone points out something wrong in my own website, writing, etc., I usually take that in stride too.
What’s my point? The more open you are to criticism, the more likely you’ll avoid the groups of Yes Men in your life and get some honest, helpful opinions.
(Now if we could only do something about the Blue Man Group…)
The other option: pay for a professional opinion if finding the “right” answer is that important. Most consultants don’t pull any punches either…
~Graham
Graham Strong’s last blog post…A Few Words of Thanks…
21 November 2008, 10:04 am
Aw, but now you’re taking all the fun out of telling someone to cram it when you don’t like what they’re saying!
21 November 2008, 11:18 am
I’ll be a “no” man for you today then, sort of.
Enjoy turkey day, you’ve earned it – and then be all means, take some time off.
We can dig through the archives here but we’ll certainly be here when you return!
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post…week 1 – report card.
21 November 2008, 12:46 pm
@Kelly
I’m glad you’re taking my “advice”.
I approve of your time off, but make sure you also check with each and every one of your readers.
Oh, and don’t forget to notify the FBBR (Federal Bureau of Blog Registries_.
But DO enjoy your turkey!
21 November 2008, 2:15 pm
Andrew,
Welcome! Karen did say some darned nice things about me. I’m glad you decided to pop on over here. And “yes” people… that can happen at home, too!
I agree, complaints are a great opportunity for companies that are listening. Right about now, that should be everyone looking for an edge… and that should be everyone!
Thanks for your comment. I hope you’ll find plenty to read here at MCE.
Graham,
“Yes, but” or “Yes, and”—that’s a sledgehammer wrapped in a soft towel. I do appreciate that.
Your prof: “…it was our job to study his poetry and tell him why it worked so well…” Ooh, Yes people who paid for the privilege! That’s a new one!
When you pay for the punching with a consultant, generally you take it better, too, because you are open to it if you paid for it. Lots of good points there.
RLD,
I think “Nah nah I don’t hear you” usually covers that, and you can still have a beer with them afterwards. But you don’t benefit from it much.
Brett,
I might pre-post a few “try this from the vault” posts this evening (see, I’m already unable to stay away and I haven’t even left yet). My big thing was I didn’t want to be a comments no-show and have Friar crying on the floor in a corner.
Oh—
Friar! You’re here?
*ahem*
I’ve checked with you on my absence, and you’ve approved. That’s enough for me.
Psst… you can tell me, are you allergic to Ralph Lauren quotes, or were you doing something dastardly like working the last couple of days? You never skip telling me WW is totally wrong… I missed it!
Not too many Yes Men around here. We have such a fine crowd at MCE.
Until later,
Kelly
21 November 2008, 2:35 pm
Kelly,
I’ll just bring more beer to Friar’s house then…
(*sigh* I’m taking an unintended “no-show” today for Viking Fridays until I get home, you see, I have a *killer* picture from Friar but the firewall at The Factory wouldn’t let the JPEG through today… and I refuse to post until I have the picture, it’s that good!!!)
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post…week 1 – report card.
21 November 2008, 2:38 pm
Brett,
That just means I get a chance to be the first commenter. Works for me!
Later,
Kelly
21 November 2008, 2:39 pm
Kelly,
Hey, that’s true! I should be posting it some time around 4 pm today
(everyone, let Kelly get first post!!!)
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post…week 1 – report card.
23 November 2008, 6:08 am
I never go to the Yes men (or women). I do a good enough job of that on my own. I also don’t go to the “no way” people either as I also do a good enough job of that.
I always manage to find the people who say Yes but, or other ass-kicking words that get me past whatever block I’m currently experiencing.
Enjoy the great American holiday!
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post…Just Get Over It, Eh?
24 November 2008, 3:22 pm
Kelly,
I was gone all weekend and now catching back up. So if you haven’t left already, have a happy turkey day with the little one. See ya when you get back…I’ll be cooking for a whole group so I’ll be busy myself this week!
Wendi Kelly’s last blog post…How Clutter Blocks Success