“Hello, Fairly Popular Restaurant, my name is T.”
That’s it. Not even “How may I help you.”
“Hi. May I please speak to the manager?”
“Nope. They’re not here.”
“Um, whoever’s in charge?”
“Nobody’s in charge. It’s just me and the bartender here.”
Word for word, dear reader. Eventually we worked it out (amazingly), and as soon as I hung up, I stopped to write these words down for you.
Have I ever asked you to do an audit of your telephone Experience before? Please. At random intervals, pick up that phone. Have your Mom do it, if staff might recoginze your voice.
I don’t let my kid answer the phone with this little care, why would anyone permit this of an employee, responsible for representing their company to the world?
Do it now. I hope T. doesn’t work for you.
Grow and be well,
Kelly Erickson
P.S. If you’re reading this: You’ve still got “Buy New Year’s Eve tickets” on your homepage. And the kid and I are huge fans.












30 January 2009, 7:32 am
Reminds me of the time I wanted to buy a Garden Shed at the Crappy Tire store. We’re talking a few hundred bucks here. So of course, I wanted to ask a few questions before making the purchase.
And (typical Splat Creek Valley), the salesperson in charge was this clueless 20-year-old who didnt’ know jack squat about ANYTHING.
So I went inside the store to customer service..and they said “We’ll page STEVE. STEVE knows all about the sheds…he’s on break now, but if you’ll wait 10-15 minutes, you can talk to STEVE”.
When STEVE came, he was an equally clueless and equally useless 17-year old.
For crying out loud…can I talk to a GROWN UP, please?
Apparently NOT…as the whole place is run by people like that.
…So much for THAT purchase! (…still haven’t found a garden shed!)
Friar’s last blog post…Double-standards you shouldn’t even bother TRYING to argue against…
30 January 2009, 8:10 am
Friar,
Well, now if Steve had sauntered out a knowledgeable 17-y-o, his age wouldn’t be an issue, right?
My local home improvement megastore is staffed by a lot of teens. But I know my tools pretty well and they still surprise me with the things they can tell me. I’m going to say let’s blame the management in both cases. It’s their job to make sure the staff is sharp as a tack at whatever age.
Of course if I were Steve and the other salespeople, I’d still be taking charge of my life by learning all I could and going beyond the obvious stereotype.
Ultimately, if management allows staff to do the minimum, doesn’t nurture them and encourage them…
Well, you know exactly what happens, eh?
Regards,
Kelly
30 January 2009, 10:09 am
yeah.
This is a HUGE pet peave of mine In one of the businesses I work with- I won’t say which- the person who answered the phone sounded-every day- like she just had a fight with her husband. Which I know for a fact she didn’t because she doesn’t have one. They even had HER voice on the answering machine. I repeatedly and gently would mention it to the owner and she would say, “I know, but she is old, and she lives alone, and we feel sorry for her.” She was the first and I’m sure often the only impression people had of the place.
Finally, years leater, I convinced them to get an enthuiastic, young happy person at the front desk and let Ms. Old work at the back desk out of sight away from the customers and the phones.
Sigh. I can’t even think about how much business was lost over the years due to feeling sorry for her.
Wendi Kelly- Life’s Little Inspirations’s last blog post…Field Trip
30 January 2009, 2:12 pm
Wendi,
Oh, that is a crime. Feeling sorry for a person is a funky reason to keep an employee, but a horrible reason to put her front-and-center!
My biggest pet peeve—how many business owners will look straight at you and say, “I don’t know why our sales aren’t what we think they should be,” when they’ve already been told a major reason or reasons by someone like you.
Aargh!
Until later,
Kelly
30 January 2009, 5:33 pm
Arrrggh! I have dealt with businesses who didn’t even bother with the name of the business, just “Hello.” Sadder still, when you try to help educate business owners (nicely) on how to brand through service, they don’t see this stuff as a big deal, which helps you to understand why the problem exists. I agree Kelly, train and then test to ensure that your standards are consistently enforced.
Karen Swim’s last blog post…Resource Friday
30 January 2009, 6:22 pm
@Kelly
The thing was…Steve was about as knowledgeable as a 20-foot inflatable gorilla.
(But at least the gorilla would have been excited…if you put an EEG to this kids head, you’d see the brain-waves FLAT-LINE (Beeeeeeeeep!!).
Friar’s last blog post…Double-standards you shouldn’t even bother TRYING to argue against…
30 January 2009, 6:38 pm
Karen,
Oh, yes. And you bring up a good point for those who don’t get it quite yet:
Have standards.
This place is a small chain, for goodness’ sake. Haven’t they got a written telephone procedure?
(Call me, guys.)
Friar,
Makes you wonder what the hiring standards were, at Steve’s place of work.
Breathing? Check.
Congratulations! You’re hired!
Ugh.
Later,
Kelly
30 January 2009, 6:54 pm
Been missing my coffee here and gorilla jokes. Glad to see they’re still going.
My step-dad’s secretary used to answer the phone: “Doctor’s office!” But then that was NYC, so it was probably taken as a very natural, welcoming message.
Now back to catching up on 400 emails. Missed you!
Todd Smith’s last blog post…California Dreaming…
30 January 2009, 7:01 pm
Todd,
And I was just saying I was glad the gorilla had nearly died.
If your step-dad’s secretary had any idea what to say next, she was doing way better than T.
My guess is, she didn’t let his business suffer.
Until later,
Kelly
30 January 2009, 7:04 pm
Never say never!
Yeah, the secretary was actually awesome! She remembered every patient’s name and and was super efficient and organized. Patients knew that the office would not waste their time.
Todd Smith’s last blog post…California Dreaming…
30 January 2009, 7:07 pm
‘Zactly. That’s Maximum Customer Experience in action.
30 January 2009, 8:32 pm
Jack told me I’d better get my butt over here now…
You know, when I read the headline, I thought it said, “Hello, My Name Is Mr. T”, so I figured you’d be writing stuff like
“PITY DA FOOL WHO DON’T GIB ME MAH CUSTOMER EXPERIENCE!!!”
But that’s okay – this is great too
your experience sounded a bit like that scene from Apocalypse Now. Martin Sheen’s character (Willard) asks in the middle of a battle, “Who’s in charge here, soldier?” and the reply is “Ain’t you?”
Brett Legree’s last blog post…viking fridays – turn the spell.
30 January 2009, 8:43 pm
Brett,
ROFLOL. That was great.
What cracks me up is that nobody has asked why I was calling them, so I’ll tell you: during the great allergic episode that kept me at home on Monday, I decided that hopped-up on cold pills, I should walk with the kid to said restaurant, so somebody besides me could be in charge of our dinner.
Persons who are hopped-up on cold pills do stupid things, and I left my bank card after paying the check.
Trying to get T. to find out whether the card was there (the next day) or had been used for somebody’s trip to Bermuda was like pulling teeth. She did *not* instill confidence in me.
And I hope they came by today. I sent an email to corporate, because I really do like the place and I think it’s a shame that’s their public face.
Later,
Kelly
31 January 2009, 8:39 am
Kelly,
I love Mr. T (he’s a great guy, really – there was an interview with him at The Onion a few years back, a serious one) and I can’t help quote the guy – besides, he’d break me in two if I didn’t
Wow – I sure hope that they got your card back to you. You’d think that they would – you know – do something to encourage your repeat business.
-Brett
Brett Legree’s last blog post…viking fridays – turn the spell.
31 January 2009, 9:08 am
Brett,
The kid and I go way more often than we should. She loves the place, and nothing’s more convenient than a pleasant full-service restaurant we can walk to from the apartment. I’ve written about them here before in a nicer tone.
Yes, I got the card back. But I sweated bullets, between the phone conversation and waiting for a free moment when I could drive over to yank it back from this place where no one’s in charge. It sure didn’t encourage my repeat business.
Ah, well. Fresh restaurant Experience stories at MCE, then. Got to do it for the blog…
(I don’t know much about Mr. T but you brought back my entire store of memories with your imitation!)
Later,
Kelly
31 January 2009, 3:45 pm
Kelly,
Mr. T is quite the fellow beyond the funny haircut and Rocky III. He does a lot of charity work with sick kids and so forth. I can’t find the interview right now but it was really neat. He talked about how his mother (single) raised him, without selling drugs or her body or anything. He said he liked to ask kids “who is your role model?” and if the answer isn’t “my mom” or “my dad”… well, pity da young fool… it should *not* be a rapper or a basketball player.
Glad you got the card back *phew*
Brett Legree’s last blog post…viking fridays – turn the spell.
1 February 2009, 1:14 pm
This is such a North American attitude. When I lived in France, entering a store or cafe gave someone for the clerk/waiter to practice their ignoring skills on.
In Spain, they might acknowledge you but will finish their conversation first before wandering over.
If, however, you ask someone a direct question, they will (usually) answer you quite pleasantly and sometimes even go out of their way to help you find what you’re looking for.
I think it’s more of a “you know I’m here if you need me” approach…
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post…The choice of too much
1 February 2009, 1:18 pm
When I lived in France, entering a store or cafe gave someone for the clerk/waiter to practice their ignoring skills on.
In Spain, they might acknowledge you but will finish their conversation first before wandering over.
If, however, you ask someone a direct question, they will (usually) answer you quite pleasantly and sometimes even go out of their way to help you find what you’re looking for.
I think it’s more of a “you know I’m here if you need me” approach…
PS So much for catching up on your blog – I just got told off saying that I’m posting comments to quickly. Time to go answer some other posts before hitting submit again…
Alex Fayle | Someday Syndrome’s last blog post…The choice of too much
1 February 2009, 4:49 pm
Brett,
I don’t know if my parents are my role models, exactly… no, Yes. They are. Just not career-wise. But How to Live… yeah.
I like Mr. T now. Even though he’s accidentally taken over my blog again.
Alex,
That’s what you get for posting twice in a row?
Well, now, a little standoffishness in a store (while not something I advocate) is different from a little rudeness on the phone. Particularly the charmless “nobody’s in charge.”
When I’m on the phone to Fairly Popular Restaurant and I wish to speak to someone, what is T. saying to me?
I believe she’s saying, “Hang up now. I do not care why you are calling in the slightest, and I am trying quite hard not to hear about it.”
I could survive without “How may I help you,” and sadly, these days, it seems we must. Time to, as you say, answer me quite pleasantly and perhaps, go out of her way.
She did *not* want to leave me with the impression that she was interested, if I should need her help. Which, since I bothered to look up their phone number, I obviously did.
Agreed?
Until later,
Kelly
1 February 2009, 5:15 pm
Kelly,
I think that’s a very accurate distinction, that I would apply to my folks as well. They may not understand my career aspirations and woes, but damn it, they sure are fine people. Parents are funny creatures. Up until age 13 or so, they can do no wrong. Then from 13 to (say) some time in your 20′s (this may vary, of course) – they are dimwits.
Then one day, you’re drinking whiskey with your dad at 3 am, talking about life, and you realize, “damn it, my dad *was* right”, or you are holding your first child in the middle of the night, when she is sick, and you say to yourself, “I’ll never be able to repay my mom for all she gave me”.
And then it hits you – you can, but you have to pay it forward.
Brett Legree’s last blog post…viking fridays – turn the spell.
1 February 2009, 5:30 pm
‘Zactly.
Once, I looked up to them.
Then I got too tall.
Now, I know they’re bigger than I’ll ever be.
Nice circle, that.
Later,
Kelly