Thank You for Ordering…

Yesterday, your intrepid Experience Designer slash blog author received a package in the mail, dated almost a month ago. I took a picture of it to show to you (I know how you love to see photos of my mail), but was unable to include it here.*

Uh-oh, I’m getting ahead of myself.

Swag? What’s swag?

Swag, dear reader, is a funky term for “free gifts from people who hope you’ll like their company.” Promotional items, freebies, or promos, if you like. Magnets, keychains, coffee mugs, calendars, and t-shirts may have arrived in your own mailbox from time to time. Sometimes these are from companies you know, sometimes from businesses who just hope you’re their kind of sucker because they know the magazines you read.

Influential blog writers such as Darren Rowse of ProBlogger are inundated with freebies, often taking the form of “review copies”: in other words, a gift (or loan) of the complete book or product, with the hope that the blogger will review it on his or her blog. [Does anybody have the link to a post he wrote about swag, about six months ago? I couldn’t find it for the life of me.]

If receiving free stuff is a sign of a blogger’s influence, then I guess I’m doing better than my still-injured stats tell me, because lately I’ve been getting a bit of it. And though I’ve only done one swag-based review here, of a book I was already a huge fan of, I’m cool with being showered with gifts. (Two words—Madame Pommery.)

There are many unofficial swag rules, covering everything from what’s cool to get, to how likely you are to be written about should you decide to send swag, to a million old-school marketing rules about whether giving swag actually provides any return on investment. In other words, will you make money from this expensive effort?

What’s the Point?

In the case of the keychain (was that a Nancy Drew mystery?), the point is to get you to pay for the company’s real service or product—to remind you about them until you feel prodded by said keychain into plunking down real cash. The point is to sell their service or product. To make money off the promotion.

With review copies it’s different. The optimist says I am to be so moved by the gift’s brilliance, that I need to tell you, dear reader, all about it; the cynic says I should feel guilty and/or look to make future deals, and so be moved to con you into buying the item. Either way, swag in the blog community creates a bit of skepticism about the reviewer’s motivation, but remember the point for the giver is the same: to make money off the promotion.

What’s the point? To make money off the promotion.

But you know, I’m not gonna talk about that today.

Never Make Your Prospect Feel Stupid… or Senior…

Senior? I’m not there yet. Some folks still say nice things about my age. Not about me, mind you, but about my age. Close enough.

Like many of you with ultra-busy work lives and friendships and parents and siblings and maybe even kids and dogs to occupy your minds, I occasionally hear myself thinking out loud, “Did I go to the grocery store when I checked it off the list, or just get in the car and head there, then get distracted and do something else?”

Thank goodness for children. Having a kid around makes it look like I wasn’t talking to myself, and sometimes, I even get an answer.

So I know just what a senior moment will look like: like this, only with no good excuse.

With no kid around to think out loud to, I open the package from a company I don’t know the name of, on a day like many others when I am expecting a package. There I read a letter:

Greetings,
Thank you for ordering ————. Enclosed is your copy of the book. blah blah blah…
Sincerely,
[person I’ve never heard of]
P.S. blah blah Tell your friends!

1. The letter is dated long enough ago that I am not sure if I did order something I’ve never heard of.

2. If I ordered it, I will be paying for it, and it looks massively uninteresting. I begin to curse myself out.

3. The wording of the letter (sorry, it’s been blah-blahed) in combo with all the other feelings I’m having, seems to suggest I’m stupid. Grr.

I’m beginning to smell a rat. When I get back to my computer, I immediately check online statements to see if I have ordered this book, check files to see if I’ve made a note about the thing, check Safari to see if I’ve ever bookmarked anything with the author or the company’s name in it. NO. But now I have lost ten minutes of my life to stress and fifteen to searching online.

Okay, so I lied about The Swag Rules. I’ve only got one swag rule.

The Swag Rule

Tell the Truth.

Everything else, you’ll figure out as you go.

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson

P.S. If you enjoyed this post, feel free to help my injured stats by linking to it, Stumbling, or otherwise bookmarking using the “Share” button below. That’s swag I’m always glad of.

*Why was I unable to include the photo here? The darned thing was so logo-ed up that even if I blurred out their particulars, the company might get some subliminal boost in your mind from this pan of their “marketing” methods. I wouldn’t want you to give them two cents on my account. That’s the kind of influential blogger I am.

Get Out.

No, really—get out!

Can your Experience Design say “This place is not for you” to certain visitors, based on:

• Age
• Habits/preferences
• Gender

YES.

Sometimes telling someone they’re not your Ideal Customer can be an important way of defining your firm.

Warning! Warning! I am NOT talking about discriminating against people who attempt to shop with your company! We’re discussing focused Experience Design here. Focused on who is, and yes, is not, your Ideal Customer.

How to do it:

• Color
• Sound
• Scent
• Design elements (accessories, artwork, traffic flow…)
• Price

Even little verbal cues, such as staff who overuse the word “like” when they aren’t describing something or someone they have affection for, can exclude.

If that’s what you want, you can drive people over 35 crazy in a hurry using “like” several times in each sentence. It’s the meaningless, less-offensive version of using the eff word six times per sentence. (Do you think they allow staff at the jewelry counter at Saks to say, “it’s, like, so beautiful on you”?)

How NOT to do it:

• Attitude
• Service
• Rude or foul language

Though I may not be your target market, there will be times when I will put up with the frou-frou, or the house music, or the overwhelming scent of patchouli, to broaden my own Experience or to shop for someone else. Though you may think my buzz-topped 20-something cousin has wandered in accidentally, he’s got his buyout check from the Internet marketing company he helped found in his pocket and bizarrely he’s decided it’s a good time to propose to his girlfriend. He wants a major rock to show her that he means business.

Never try to dissuade buyers with your sneers. These days, they may just have a blog. And a lot of friends.

Let me know in subtle ways, in case I’ve wandered in unawares, but don’t make me feel unwelcome if I decide to stay. Very often your most unlikely customer is there with an agenda and may be the best customer of the day.

WHO might want to do it:

Nightclubs do it. Tattoo parlors do it. Mercedes dealers do it.

Go ahead, say “No place I’d go does it.”

Fabric stores and auto parts stores do it. Lots of places you’d go do it.

Oh, yes, really, a lot of places are trying to tell somebody, “This place is not for you.”

Who else might want to do it?

Is it right for you?

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson

Wednesday Words

To Go Where Your VisionPoints, a few inspiration points for you and your business.

If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. ‘Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that’s mass production.
—Will Rogers

It’s back—and it never goes away, really. Long, long ago in April, James Chartrand at Men With Pens led a lively discussion about pricing and ethical guidelines for freelance writers which I jumped right in on because it’s clear from my experience that this is an issue for almost any business, not only for freelancers.

I mean, hamburgers that run over $100? How do you know what to charge for your service or product when there’s so much variation? What’s the real issue?

Hunter Nuttall, who’s not one to complain, sent a serious and heartfelt email exploring the issue to Naomi Dunford at IttyBiz, and the heat is on again.

Now, really. Some of you have weighed in on “good” and “bad” pricing at Men With Pens or IttyBiz—if you haven’t read those two articles and the comment sections, please do, they’re great. I don’t want to go there.

Here’s a snippet of what I said back in April at MWP, and this is what I’m thinking about again today:

If the rates you charge go up significantly…. [the] kinds of clients you can work with would change greatly. (You know that.)

If you know what problem you alone can solve for your customer, then your pricing is right in front of you.

$100 burgers (temporarily) solve boredom and narcissism, not hunger. A mere $4 burger can’t do that.

A three-year, $250,000 consulting job that resulted in a terrible new tagline for the state of Delaware in 2005? “We paid big money, so it’s good.” (That’s my Ideal Customer, next time they’re looking. Whew!) Plenty of companies would have charged hundreds to a few thousand dollars, but the consultants on that job were paid to cover-your-… oh, you know. Yes, that’s an Ideal Solution for some customers.

My question to you: Are you charging to make a living, charging what you can, or charging to attract and keep your Ideal Customer?

Because if you ask me, it isn’t ethics and it isn’t greed. Pricing is marketing, and a major part of the Customer Experience. You’re making a choice that tells the customer how to feel about your company.

I’m not telling you what to charge, but don’t just throw it out and see what sticks. Plan it, and know why. Design your pricing with a clear purpose.

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson

A Monday Series

It’s that summer Monday. The one where you’re getting the grill ready, if you live in the U.S. or Canada, and hoping it’s not too cold for one last dip in the pool. Enjoy your Labo(u)r Day!

If you need something to do while the coals are warming, you might want to:

Clear Out the Cobwebs

Smile for the Birdie

Have a New Logo Designed

Get Your Kids Involved

Read at the Beach

Walk the Grounds

Log In

and Cheat and Save Money!

If you’re burnt-out, antsy, and need to revitalize your attitude as much as your business, this is the series for you. Experience Design for beach-dreaming business owners comes to your summer Mondays.

Summer Is a Great Time to Drop In

This week let’s get out of the shop or office, to stretch that holiday a little further. Get out of the pool and dry off, devour the last juicy steak, and relax today. Then take Tuesday afternoon to try on an Experience Designer’s shoes.

Competitive Intelligence?

Competitive Intelligence. What is it really, and how can it help you drive business growth?

Maybe you’ve heard of mystery shopping—having an audit done on your own company’s sales process by an outsider who won’t be recognized as they shop your store, restaurant, or office.

At VisionPoints, we get much more comprehensive than simply buying a pair of shoes, or eating your lunch, or keeping an appointment. Our Experience Audit is like turbocharged mystery shopping, looking at the entire Customer Experience from first touchpoints (advertisements, signage, telephone and online Experience) to last (packaging, satisfaction, followup). The anonymous shopping trip is still the critical center of an Experience Audit. In gathering competitive intelligence, we perform an audit of your main competitors’ Experiences.

This week: You get out there—drop in on the competition—and give it a try. What’s been bugging you about your Customer Experience? Do you have an idea of where sales may bog down? Make a special note of a few points you have concerns about, then try out the competition.

Take an afternoon. Go out with fresh eyes, and note the strengths and weaknesses of the top two or three, looking for how they handle the issues you’re worried about. Do they have some work to do, or have they got it figured out? What can you learn from the competition?

Yes, you probably do this informally all the time. You’ve got your eyes open for innovative ideas from any corner, and your ears open for praise or complaints about the other guys in town. If you’re like most, you feel funny looking the competition square in the eyes and buying from them. Go on, do it anyway.

You’ll learn where you excel and where you could improve, by seeing what others offer, and how they sell it.

If you think you’re too hot in your field, think again; even the Big Boys do this all the time.

If you’re sure they’d recognize you, don’t give up—get an employee or a trusted friend to do it.

Wondering what to look for? Read The Mom Test.

If you are the employee reading this, volunteer. Some owners don’t realize how much they can gain from an afternoon of gathering competitive intelligence. (Haven’t you told your boss to read Maximum Customer Experience yet?)

That was easy!

The purchase is made, the notes are taken. All done, right?

Wrong. Summer’s over, dear reader, and fall is the busiest time of year for Experience Design inquiries for a reason: Now’s the time to hunker down as the leaves flutter past, analyze what you’ve learned, and do the hard work of transforming your business.

What can you do better? What do you do that they don’t?

Now that you’ve checked out the rest, tell me why should I choose only you?

Answer it, emphasize it in every customer interaction, and make sure everybody knows it. Only you provide the Ideal Solution, when the Pain Point is ——what?

From where I stand, you’re looking hale and hearty and ready for the challenge. Summer’s been good to you! I hope you’ve enjoyed doing something light with your Mondays lately.

Now put down that beach ball. It’s time to grow your business.

What can you learn from the competition?

BONUS: What will they learn, when they come to your place to gather competitive intelligence?

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson

Oops! I’m Doing It Again

Believe it or not—and if you’ve read my posts Off-Topic, On the Weekend, Naomi Dunford’s “I Never Called It a Meme,” Meme, Get In On the Action, and You Definitely Don’t Want to Know These 8 Random Things About Me, you may have a hard time believing it—I generally try to resist memes here at Maximum Customer Experience.

I’m not too good at avoiding memes, however, and blogger Peter Kim has pinpointed one reason why: The Ego Trap catches me. As Katherine Hepburn said in The Philadelphia Story, “Oh, we’re going to talk about me, are we? Goody.” Her character didn’t mean it. The gist of The Ego Trap, which I heard about through John Moore, the no-b.s. author of Brand Autopsy, is that I do mean it, even though maybe I don’t mean to mean it. See what I mean?

Goody!

Awards Rock!

This week the trap snapped shut on me when I was given the Oops! award by the achingly funny Urban Panther to start me on my meme-y way.

The Panther thinks we’re funny here, which yes, I am trying to be, and she knows Dorothy Lamour. So I can’t resist her invite.

Thinks we’re funny?

Yes. Please read the Panther’s take on MCE’s humor. Proof that you, dear reader, are part of the team here.

Funny Girl

If you’re newish to the blog and you’re wondering what’s so funny about Experience Design, here are a few that come to mind, when I think of Maximum Customer Experience getting goofy:

Free Slippery Advice, Today Only

I Know It Was Earth-Shattering! But I Lost It in Bed!

Observing: Are You a Bulldozer or a Zen Professor?

Guy Kawasaki Wrote Me an Email Today

Giving the Cow Away, but the Milk’s Not Free!

Tip of the Week: Sex and Maximum Customer Experience

Observing Boomer Angst

Rules, rules:

The Oops award was created to be given to bloggers who inspire others with their humor and their talents, also for contributing to the blogging world in whatever medium. When you receive this award it is considered a special honor. Once you have received this award, you are to pass it on to others.

The rules for passing this honor on:

1) Pick 5 blogs that you would like to award this honor to.

2) Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog to be visited by everyone.

3) Each award winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award itself.

4) Award-winner and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Oops” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.

My turn to lavish praise: Where Do I Go to ROFLOL?

This was very hard to narrow down to five, because as it turns out, I like a little funny with my small business inspiration and education, so I read blogs by a lot of folks whose sense of humor brings home their message. That’s maximum blog-reader experience, to me. Without further ado:

The newest winners of the Oops! Award, in order of when I first found their scintillating (and sometimes titillating) senses of humor online, because yes, I have a system to keep track of such things, and because no, I couldn’t put them in order of whose blog I love best. I wouldn’t know where to begin!

Tag, my friends, you are oh, so funny, and (read those rules) you are IT! I can hardly wait to see who you’ll tag!

Naomi Dunford’s IttyBiz

Entrepreneurship: What to Do When You’re Scared Sh*tless. What a title! Though I didn’t leave my first comment for a couple of months, I fell for this post and the previous day’s on IttyBiz. A quick read in the comments may amuse you, to see how many other folks found Naomi on the very same day.

Now, Naomi, I know you don’t want to play, but remember you owe me one? And I love ya.

And dear, dear readers: once, I was afraid. I was petrified. (If you hear Gloria Gaynor in the background, you are OLD. Like me.) Of Naomi’s self-described “potty mouth.” I grew strong, and I learned how to get along, because I can not give up reading what she has to say, any day she drags herself to the keyboard to say it. I’m warning you so you’re ready, but don’t you dare stay away.

Nick Cernis’ Putting Things Off

Suave and self-effacing, with a gorgeous blog where he gently recommends, never insists, you follow his lead, Nick Cernis is the blogger who’d enliven my dinner parties with whispered asides if only fate hadn’t placed him on the bonny British isles. Then again, were he not there, he wouldn’t be who he is, so my dinners must suffer but my reading never will.

The post where I fell for Nick’s ever-so-mannered wit: Warning: If You’re Using These Job Titles, Stop Right Now! I’ve never stopped reading, and neither will you.

Sonia Simone’s Remarkable Communication

Slightly snarky business blogger is how I’d describe Sonia. Her dead-on advice, delivered with a wink, always gives a giggle and a head-nodding lesson in effective communications. Will she hate me for mentioning that she’s also written a few novels, which my local library had on the shelves, so I checked her out a couple of months ago and got a few more giggles? Let’s find out.

Her Free 115-Page Tutorial on Marketing to Women was so incisive I was instantly hooked. Have a look.

Taylor Lindstrom’s Rogue Ink

Tei is young (blog-wise) and popular, so naturally in this extended high-school arena we call the blogosphere I am insanely jealous. She’s also sharp as a tack, so I’m hooked. I first fell off my chair with laughter and recognition when I read this superb post: The War on English: So It Begins.

Whether she’s defending the English language or letting the comments turn into the fanfest she calls a pub, she’ll get you with her ability to skewer absolutely anything. She’s also deadly with a fancy sword. Side-splitting, indeed!

Bob Hoffman’s The Ad Contrarian

Bob is living proof of the power of guest blogging and commenting, because I found him through his devastatingly funny guest post on Copyblogger, A Cranky, Skeptical Loudmouth Looks at Social Media Marketing then realized he was everywhere commenting, then took a look at his blog and almost bust a gut going through his archives. Heck, even when he’s bemoaning a lack of backlinks, he’s just painfully funny.

My favorite post from just after I discovered The Ad Contrarian: The Cluefree Manifesto. If it doesn’t help you to take yourself less seriously (and maybe make you choke on your morning espresso) there is no justice at all in the world.

BONUS: Because rules were made to be broken, my sixth fave funny blog, and the only one that may never advance your business in any way but will be glad to tell you about (inner) truths and (outer) body parts we at MCE never discuss.

The Urbane Lion’s Den

I thought his woman would tag him, but the Panther demurred. Well, your intrepid Experience Designer can not leave this fine and funny new voice off her list. When I first began reading The Urban Panther, she was in the midst of a series on Dressing to Land a Man which had me laughing out loud at every turn.

How to really land yourself a good man! was his response, the first post by the Lion that I read, and when I got to his abhorrence of baseball caps on anything but baseball players (I’ve been mocked publicly, but that’s how I feel), I knew he was a kindred spirit. A smart, off-kilter, nothing’s sacred, incorrigible, urbane scamp of a kindred spirit, but a kindred spirit nevertheless.

Have fun clicking around here at MCE, and at a few of the places I go to exercise my right to roar with laughter and scare my neighbors. Happy, happy Friday.

Thanks so much, Panther. I’m really flattered.

Grow and be amused,

Kelly Erickson

Wednesday Words

To Go Where Your VisionPoints, a few inspiration points for you and your business.

A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight,
and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
—Oscar Wilde

Dreamers lead a a lonely life. Sometimes, it’s kinda profitable.

Benjamin Franklin. Thomas Edison. Phil Knight. Richard Branson. Steve Jobs. And you?

When you look at the dawn, what do you see? Share with us below….

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson

A Monday Series

I took a long drive along the East Coast on Saturday, and noticed that a few flirtatious trees are turning color already, whispering that autumn is nearly here. Today, my kid goes back to school. If the summer heat still calls you as it does me, saying, where did all the time go? remember that some of those dog days were wisely used to:

Clear Out the Cobwebs

Smile for the Birdie

Have a New Logo Designed

Get My Kids Involved

Read at the Beach

Walk the Grounds

and Log In to the online Experience you offer your customers.

If you’re burnt-out, antsy, and need to revitalize your attitude as much as your business, this is the series for you. Experience Design for beach-dreaming business owners comes to your summer Mondays.

Summer Is a Great Time to Save With Quality Cheats Your Customers Won’t Mind

Time to get off the computer, and have a look around your place—if you’re a startup or an expanding small business owner, the sweetest music this summer is the sound of saving money on your interiors without putting a dent in your Customer Experience.

Here are my top 3 cheats—watch out, you’ll be tempted to spend too much!

1.  Lighting fixtures

Don’t get “cheap and ugly.” Get “industrial and minimalist,” and call it a design decision. Savings: 50% or more.

BUT… Have as much lighting as possible, especially natural lighting.

2.  Office furniture anywhere customers won’t meet with you

Tables, desks, and shelving are for using, not impressing, when you’re a startup business or small business owner. Go used. Go utilitarian.

BUT… Treat your staff to the best seating you can afford—even better than clients get—they’ve got to sit all day every day and love it.

3.  Storage

Here’s where you go cheap and ugly. Save money for where it shows!

BUT… If it bugs you, let your more creative staff members loose for an evening of faux painting the filing cabinets and kitchen cabinets.

Where Quality Counts: Skimp at Your Own Risk!

1.  Cleaning

Spotless is worth more than any other Customer Experience improvement, and with great lighting it will show even more.

2.  Anything customers will feel

The sense of touch is a large part of purchasing decisions.

3.  Seating

Though staff deserves the best, even in public areas this is often neglected. You need—more, sturdier, more comfortable, better looking. A fresh coat of paint or stain and a covering with fabric that’s from this millennium will do wonders for sturdy seats from days gone by.

4–28. More quality details you don’t want to miss.

What would you add? Where else can we cheat on quality without affecting Customer Experience?

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson

What Seems to Be the Problem Here?

Many studies have reported that customers who have a problem resolved to their satisfaction are more loyal than customers who’ve never had a problem at all. Immediate problems with a transaction, you know you need to fix right away—make it easy to register more general complaints, too. Why listen to your customers’ complaints?

• You’ll learn from what they have to say
• They’ll feel a lot better
• You might actually resolve the issue

In-person, by telephone, online form, or email, even *gasp* by snail mail if they’d like to. Make it easy. Give customers the opportunity to tell you what needs fixing, and call it cheap outside Perspective.

Think about how you feel when someone listens to you about the pothole in the parking lot—you know it’s not the guy who’s going to fix it, but the fact that the manager listens, responds, and writes something down makes you respect the company, doesn’t it?

A company that seems unafraid of facing complaints tends to receive fewer, and gets bonus points in the customer’s mind for being willing to take the heat. Customers feel free to say their piece and go on instead of letting resentment build up.

See this as a compliment; the customer cares about your company enough to say something rather than walking out forever.

What do you think about companies who hide their complaint department—How far are you willing to go to get through to them, and does it influence your future buying decisions? Does your company do it better than most?

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson

Who Designed These Experiences?

1.

Ad this week for a mobile phone: No mention of the original price. A photo, and “Save $199.”

Any phone I can save $199 on is probably one that I will feel like I can’t afford (no, it’s not for the one you’re thinking of).

If you know the thing is bloody expensive and you don’t want to tell me how much, try “Save 40%.” That at least gives me the hope that I can afford it, and an understandable measure of how great your deal is. I’m listening.

If it’s something that I understand what ballpark the price is in (like, say, a Mercedes), you can try “Save $12,000.” Why doesn’t it work here? Mobile phone prices are all over the place. “Save $199” could mean “Pay $49,” or it could mean “Pay $369.” The phrasing just worries me into wondering how many dollars you began with, that you can afford to shave off 199 of them. No sale.

2.

I got a “special friends” discount letter for [Big Department Store] when my parents were in town a while back. Knowing how infrequently they get to any metro area, I suggested they hit the store and do a little damage while I was at work. Dad wrinkled his nose. “I know how that company works. It’s 20% off everything, except all the brands and departments you want.”

No restrictions, it said. I showed him the shopping pass. I’m a special friend, after all. Not a single trick in sight.

Still, he’s seen so many of their passes in the newspaper that he refused to believe it. Mom and Dad did no damage at Big Department Store while in tax-free Delaware, because of the damage BDS has done to their reputation over the years, with their meaningless discounts.

More on discounts and promotions:

Put a Cork in the Fine Print

How You Can Get Me to Jump Over my Granny

Giving the Cow Away, but the Milk’s Not Free!

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson

Wednesday Words

To Go Where Your VisionPoints, a few inspiration points for you and your business.

Motivation is what gets you started.
Habit is what keeps you going.
—Jim Ryun  (Runner, three-time Olympic athlete, United States Congressman from Kansas, author)

Go ahead. Be inspired by the dedication and raw enthusiasm of the Olympic athletes from your home country this week.

Make excellence your habit.

Grow and be well,

Kelly Erickson